You shine this light into the black..

cut. starved myself. burned myself. punched walls. took numerous pills. everything possible to hurt myself.
and i didnt want to be selfish anymore. i cant just hurt everyone around me just to make myself feel better. everyone around me was scared and hurting bc they knew i wasn’t okay. that wasnt fair to them. just bc i was miserable doesnt mean i had to make them miserable. cutting did help with the depression i was going through but NOTHING is worth hurting someone else over.. especially if they didnt do anything wrong. i hate more than anything hurting ppl around me just to make myself feel better.. its selfish and mean. i would rather suffer than hurt someone else, truthfully. no one deserves to hurt. cutting is never a solution. yeah, its going to make you feel better. i know that for a fact, it made me feel 100 times better. bc why? i have no fucking idea. maybe i felt like i deserved it and i was getting what i deserved. fuck, i have no idea. but its not worth it. its really not. im happier without it.